And we don’t mean those notes that will send you to the loo, vomiting, or notes that have graphic content of two moths doing — well, what they’re supposed to be doing.

We’re talking about sick notes as in notes you’re supposed to present when you’re off on a sick day. When your inner self hyperventilates at 104°F, nobody in China in the biz world will buy that unless you get a signed note from the doctor that you’ve been “officially sick”. That’s what we mean by a sick note.

They’re a way to be legally at home — so to speak. There won’t be cops knocking on your door forcing you to work unless you’ve been playing biz truant for a looong time — but there’s your money down the loo. If you play around and don’t work, well, you’re paid less and might even get the hated pink slip. Unless you can fake your way in with a sick note.

Which is precisely what football maniacs around town are doing. CNNgo reports on the phenomenon: Taobao, essentially the eBay of China, is offering sick notes — at CNY 280 a pop. That’s about USD 41 — a fair price to pay for three days of freedom, which is what most notes go for in terms of validity.

Not sure if local firms have gotten in on the act yet — by requiring more “supporting documentation” in terms of the day off (real or otherwise) — or if the bosses here are soccer fans anyway…

And all this in the name of the People. @no_Z_turn churned out a brilliant tweet which made us laugh pretty hard:

After People.com.cn came out with People’s Search…

1. Xinhua Web [Ed: Official news agency] will soon debut Person Search [Ed: ie, a search on your person, much like security check, but on the Web, supposedly...]

2. Chinese Police Web will soon debut Hostage Search

3. Kaixin (001) will soon debut Renzha Search [Ed: Renzha, 人渣 in characters, is a pretty nasty term — to be used only on your enemies, dead and/or alive]

4. Tencent [Ed: China's biggest IM network] will soon debut Shemale Search [Ed: Dis-s-gusting]

5. Qiu Zhi (Job Search) Web will soon debut HR Search

6. Renren Web will soon debut Human-Flesh Search [Ed: that's an Internet manhunt, by the way

7. Sina will soon debut: Life Search [Ed: the Chinese for this, 人名搜索, has sinister connotations]

8. Baihe Web [Ed: big online dating service] will debut: Man-and-Wife Search

9. Mop will soon debut: Ren Liu Search [Ed: painstaking operations!]

Talk about China. And “Copy To China”. Only that the copycat-ing has just gone all-local with this one…

Being in the “People’s China” (PRC), we have the — can we say this? — ”People’s Firewall” (Great Firewall; the former East Germany called their version, the Berlin Wall, the Anti-Fascism Protection Wall). With Google leaving China for obviously political reasons, the PRC now has, nearly a quarter after Google.cn’s departure, its own — “People’s Search Engine”.

The People’s Daily, known best as being the official party paper, has launched “People’s Search” (人民搜索; what an apt name!). Domain-wise, you’re going to be disappointed if you were looking for peoplessearch.cn; instead, it’s a semi-”fashionable” goso.cn. (On the Interwebs, the official organs try to get “snazzy” and “fashionable”, only to keep the censors.)

Of course, this being the official search engine, controversial content is left out. Look for the date of the Tian’anmen crackdown in Chinese, for example, and if you’re in China, you’ll get hits — which are not one bit related to the controversial event. If you’re outside China, interestingly enough, you get your connection to goso.cn cut. Yes, it’s as if the cyberofficials are saying: “We don’t want you US imperialists to go around messing about in our internal cyberaffairs in China” or something.

(Hint: the results for the Grass Mud Horse (草泥马 Caonima), as seen above, work well. That is, probably, until the Net mandarins censor the innocent alpaca as well… The Grass Mud Horse is commonly seen as representing the average Netizen, obviously in opposition to official mass censorship.)

Now for today’s dose of officialspeak: it’s claimed this search engine wants to “create an authoritative Chinese search engine” as well as “providing trusted search results”. As @spiked1989 notes on his tweet, there’s a funny side to this: just before goso.cn launched, Google, now in its uncensored version, had nearly all services become unusuable, Chinese Great Firewall be thanked.

@spiked1989 next ponders if a “People’s OS” will do for China. Your tech blogger, in the meanwhile, is taking a good, hard look at Google. With goso.cn out, it’s just a matter of time before all off Google might go under. There’s another factor in this: where does the official goso.cn leave the supposed-non-gov Baidu?

The new WordPress 3.0 is now reality, and it looks like it’s also reality for the world’s biggest market by national population. WordPress 3.0’s simplified Chinese language pack has just gone live.

The links (in case you don’t do Chinese or are on one of those super-old systems that can’t display the language right):

• The WordPress 3.0 simplified Chinese page

• WordPress 3.0 (simplified Chinese) as a zip or tar.gz
• WordPress 3.0 simplified Chinese language pack (only) as a zip or tar.gz

The one thing we’re looking forward to is that snazzy WordPress 3.0 “Twenty Ten” theme. Your tech blogger’s getting a new all-personal blog, by the way. He’s giving that a go!

Thanks @roamlog for the tweet!

The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea. Unless you knew what happened for real inside this place, you’d probably think that this nation, via its name on its own, is a bit like the democrazy that’s Switzerland (where Swiss citizens are given the microphone 4 times a year — as in the ballot — to determine on everything, from tax raises to asinine proposals to ban minarets). “The People’s Paradise”, as North Korea’s Shanghai World Expo pavillion claims itself to be, seems to be “The People’s Choice” this time ’round in the Chinese-language Twittersphere.

For apparently no surprise. “The People’s Korea”, as it makes reference to itself, has long had a political love-affair with the PRC. Within days after the communist leadership was installed in Beijing, Pyongyang gave it almost-instant recognition. Kim Il-Sung and Mao Zedong were seen together a lot, and the tradition has continued with Kim Jong-Il and the three successive “generations” of Chinese leadership, although as of late Kim Jong-Il has a new practice of coming into China in total secrecy to the extent that even his waste is transported back to Kimland. (It’s rumored Kim Jong-Il is gravely ill, and in 2009 pictures with Chinese premier Wen Jiabao, Kim appeared downright awful.)

North Korea’s an unexpected love in the Chinese Twittersphere — and it’s less about the mutual communism than about the fact that people have no idea what the world’s remaining Communist dictatorship can do. Its goal against Brazil shocked the masses, although, unsurprisingly, Brazil outdid the North Koreans.

There’s another point of commonality between the DPRK and the PRC in the Chinese-language Twittersphere: it’s how they’re referred to. North Korea calls itself Chosun (朝鮮), unlike South Korea calling itself Hangeug (韓國). As it’s north of the 38th parallel, some call it North Chosun (北朝鮮). With the Chinese government closing more websites than conceivable, some are thinking if the PRC is in a love affair with the DPRK, rhetoric-wise. No surprise, then, that the two socialist comrades share the Chosun (朝鮮) moniker: as China’s west of the DPRK, tweeps sometimes give the PRC the nickname West Chosun (西朝鮮), poking fun at the Chinese Net censors.

Tomorrow, North Korea’s at it again. And of course, there’ll be a fair deal of tongue-in-cheek support for the DPRK. Including the thousands of Chinese dressed up to be North Korean cheerleaders in South Africa.

Last time this blog did a Wifi Around China post, Starbucks got hammered for what turned out to be sub-optimal wifi at the Beijing Capital Times Square outlet in Xidan. The wifi network there was without passwords. And from that moment on, we’ve learned to distrust or at least be very suspicious of Starbucks outlets with wifi networks without passwords. (Could be that folks next door are stealing the signal.)

Well, it looks like the Starbucks on the eastern side of town — on Ritan Road just east of Jianguomen — has no such fault.

The Starbucks on Ritan Road lies in the middle of Beijing’s more diplomatic-and-commercial territories (which doesn’t say a lot, we admit). It faces the international-esque International Club (pardon the pun if you will), which in the early 1980s was expat heaven. (Now expats are allowed in just about every last place in the Jing. How times have changed.)

In a config seen again at the Pinnacle Plaza in Shunyi and the Xuanwumen Junefield SOGO, this Starbucks is right next to a SUBWAY sandwich shop. (Why are these two “in love”? Please don’t give your tech blogger the Tuna Sandwich Connection as a reason — both offer you the delicacy, by the way.)

Wifi here is relatively fast and is VPN-friendly, and the best time to come is during evenings. Your blogger’s in here sometimes — and has been here on two Saturday evenings. It’s pretty quiet especially this time of the day, and the not-too-loud background music playing non-cliché pop/rock music makes it a somewhat pleasant environment to get some work done.

The only fault we could find was with the iPhone 3G checking into Gowalla (sans VPN) — it didn’t work that well over wifi. With wifi off on the iPhone, though, it was better. Also a note here for 3G people on China Unicom’s 3G service — you don’t get a full signal. (Then again, China Unicom was never known for an always-on full signal…)

Tested: 20:30, June 13, 2010 with a 15-inch MacBook Pro and iPhone 3G
Wifi: Free; no password needed
Signal: Good all-round
VPN support: Good support
Transit links: Subway Lines 1 or 2 to Jianguomen; exit B. Head left at the exit and continue straight for about 5 minutes or so, then turn left at traffic lights. Starbucks is to your right.

Starbucks Ritan Road
Ritan Road, Chaoyang District, Beijing, China

And you think: this is China. It’s supposed to be a place where we’re supposed to see more of this when it comes to URLs:

Yep, you’re supposedly right. Except for one thing. Not a lot of folks are doing Chinese URLs — especially those that involve Chinese ideograms. The sign you’re taking a good look at now is an exception.

Instead, the Chinese are into hanyu pinyin addresses (those with Chinese romanization instead of the characters themselves), abbreviated addresses in pinyin (does stuff like bjjtgl.gov.cn make any sense to you?), and — if all else fails — plain English. They’re dumping their own language — and characters.

As a Mac user (and occasional Windows guy) who has to get about in two languages (at least) every day, it’s no surprise, speaking from personal experience. On both major systems, you have to switch between different input systems with a rather complex keystroke to type in characters or in ASCII characters. As long as there’s that barrier, it’s likely those characters will remain in rarely-used territory on the Web.

Personally speaking, though, it’s a good thing they’re enabled in the first place. Now if we can just get the different keyboard layouts (and language layouts) to work out great so that it’s easier to switch between the lingos…

If Lu Xun [ed: one of those great Chinese writers that, during the era of the Republic before 1949, challenged the norm] is still here today, first, his blog would get blocked (harmonized); next, he’d be called to the police office; and finally, he’d be imprisoned on grounds of subverting state authority.

These are not the most libre of all times. We thought that when YouTube was taken away from us in March 2009 that the worst would pass after a sensitive June anniversary three months down the road. Not only is it still invisible in China, but now, Twitter, Facebook and even the apparently-innocent foursquare has joined the queue. The censors have attacked Twitter like they’ve attacked a F@!un Gøng website, closing all API and third-party links as soon as they could find one. Meanwhile, noted blogger Han Han, who turned into a so-called “public intellectual”, is not only in public fights (with the typed word, not physically) with other “public intellectuals” so-called, but also with the censors, who have removed an increasing number of Han’s articles.

@jason5ng32 (who tweeted the Chinese tweet first, seeing it retweeted over about 50 times in all) has been particularly badly hit. He runs a Chinese-language blog Kenengba, and that has been toyed around with due to an apparently pro-Google stance. (Your tech blogger was initially pro-Google as well, but immediately changed sides once it was found out that apparently all Google was interested in was gaining publicity, fighting a proxy “Cold War 2.0″ and toying with the Chinese netizenry.)

We have to ask ourselves: has the chilling effect really gotten this bad as of late?

Another gift for World Expo City, Ala Nong Zanghae. (That’s Shanghainese in Pinyin for 阿拉侬上海, which is Shanghainese for “your and our Shanghai”.) Look for Sanlitun a la Shanghai — as in another Apple Store in the People’s Republic.

We quote AppleInsider:

Apple’s cylindrical glass tower entrance to the new underground retail megastore in Shanghai, China, set to open mid July, is now decked in red curtains, signaling close proximity to launch.

The new real property is one of the two new stores opening in Shanghai this summer and counts among the 25 new Apple Stores that the company’s chief operations executive Tim Cook said would open in China by the end of 2011.

The new store’s design is reminiscent of Apple’s iconic flagship New York City store on Fifth Avenue, which is similarly located entirely underground and features a dramatic giant glass cube entrance.

The Apple Store in Shanghai is located between the IFC Mall and the Oriental Pearl TV Tower in Shanghai’s Lujiazui biz district. Metro-wise, it’s around the Lujiazui station on Line 2, which will also be a future interchange with Line 14. (Both lines are “wide train” lines and major trunk routes underground in the city.) It’s in Pudong, which has been derided as “Pu Jersey” (this will bring up “ahs” for those in the Big Apple and New Jersey, as well as, interestingly, Australians), but which, being on the eastern side of the Huangpu River, is hosting the China Pavillion at the World Expo.

If you wanted in right now, though, good luck. The place is now in red curtains, guarded by ninjas who won’t allow photography. (China is cracking down, more and more, on photography as of late; we’ve heard them doing so in railway stations, Subway stops, and even taking a pic of the Beijing CBD has “aroused interest” from “relevant persons”.)

And why red? It’s got little to do with the politics (although the party and national flag are all in red, as well), and more to do with a Chinese tradition that dates back to imperial times. Red’s seen as a good color in China, so much so that weddings are all-red ceremonies. Obviously, when Apple opens the thing in Shanghai, it’s got to be in a festive mood, right?

We’ll either have live coverage on that day (when the Lujiazui store opens) or link to places providing live coverage.

And it’s not that the plan sucks. It doesn’t. Hu Jintao and Co should be saluted and respected for bringing as much talent as possible to China, and with coming out with the plan. The Chinese Central Government’s plans for 2010-2020 in terms of HR have a lot of what it takes to make China an HR powerhouse.

That’s how it’s supposed to work on paper, anyway. In reality, things are much different, as a Chinese language post on Sina from a Hong Konger notes. China’s biggest problem, it notes, is not just with political fragility, but with family power and the uncountable “hidden rules” (潜规则). In China, if your family has solid political bonds or is in government itself, your sons and daughters are “safe”; they aren’t likely to go hungry. Add the fact that the “capitalists”, long detested by the communist revolutionaries, are in fact the very same folks as those in power, and you see why there’s contempt from the masses at the bottom of this “food chain”, so to speak.

More disturbing is the fact that overseas Chinese who have decided to come back to the place that’s theirs find instead a People’s Republic mixed up in complex social relationships, more hidden rules than one can shake a stick at, and an impossible climate to get an education. So how do they survive? They don’t. They just simply — jump off buildings.

Do you become an HR powerhouse that way?

Most disturbing is the fact that the Chinese, fully aware of excesses in internal corruption, know that the PRC might not be their best bet. If you’re in Canada, you might soon have to come to terms with more Chinese-speaking folks than you think you could; that nation is a hot favorite amongst Chinese seeking out places where the grass is apparently greener.

And it’s not that Beijing is turning a blind eye to this. A 2007 report by the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences already had red lights going off: China has taken the lead in both the nation with the most emigrants and the nation losing the most talent. 2008-2009 figures for the US show that around 70% of the immigrants are from China.

Sometimes when you see things this way, China can be a scary place. And it’s not the arrogant coal mine boss (who must have gotten rich overnight) with awful mannerisms in First Class that’s scary…